hi friends, and welcome to Free Pizza.
Free pizza is a nice, unexpected thing in a strange world. I hope this newsletter is the same.
This week I’ve been feeling extra anxious, like the anxiety I put away so I could enjoy Portland is seeping out, like a box of wine accidentally left in a beach tote bag you forgot about. When quarantine “began,” I figured I could put all of my ~self care~ on hold. Now that we know covid isn’t a phase but a new way of life, my brain has been telling me I can no longer ignore my anxiety — in the form of not sleeping, of being afraid about every tiny thing my kitten does, in the way it tells me I am old and not far enough in my career — that I know I have to keep taking care of myself, not in spite of things being hard but because they are.
So! I have been walking to a coffee shop before work, meditating for one minute/day, reading before bed, journaling things I am grateful for and walking around the block after work. Of course, these things don’t work overnight. They need to be sustained. In the moment, I think they are helping. They are giving me more moments of clarity and peace.
Other things that are helping:
buying a $1 Nutella sandwich with a beer to fulfill the new rule where nyc bars require a food purchase when you buy alcohol
going to the Rockaways for the first time this summer, where a wave knocked me over. I tasted salty water in my mouth; it was so normal and nice.
walking up to my roof to harvest basil, wrap it in a damp paper towel and keep it in the crisper
Here are five things I am thinking about this week. 🍕
1. USPS merch 💌
💡for when even the purest pillar of our democracy is collapsing
As if we did not already know, President Trump made clear on Thursday that he opposes giving USPS the funding it needs for mail-in voting. Like everything else, at this point it’s on us to support the USPS, which you can do by buying stamps (like these cute fruit and vegetables ones) and writing to your reps to demand they #SaveUSPS. (You can text USPS to 50409 - Resistbot!)
Another thing you can do is buy MERCH. As someone who has dressed up as a USPS mail carrier for Halloween every year since the year 2015, I endorse this model of support, but you have to make sure to buy it from the USPS store and not the literal employee store like I did:
Official USPS merch highlights include: a USPS fleece blanket, this chic-ass messenger bag which I will be buying for my next Halloween costume (unless USPS is completely refunded by then — oh wait, Halloween is cancelled this year anyway!) or this awesome toy van:
P.S. Please enjoy the slightly outdated USPS memes I created in April when this was not yet an urgent issue:
2. selling sunset season 4 🌴
💡 when you find yourself wondering what the commission on a $10 million home is
Selling Sunset is a Netflix reality show about women selling million dollar homes in LA. They work really hard, make a shit ton of money, navigate construction sites in stilettos and are horrible to each other. It’s incredible.
I get it. You’re “not into reality TV.” I used to be one of those people. But to cast off an entire genre of TV as low brow and vapid is to deny yourself the pure exhilaration that comes from becoming invested in drama that has virtually no stakes.
I first watched Selling Sunset when it aired in spring of 2019, a week before I moved to New York. It was the best escapism I could ask for. One year later, there are four seasons, which makes no sense, but none of it does. There’s barely any difference between the seasons: There are always $10 million houses. The women are always successful. There is always a wedding, engagement, at least three house warming parties and a breakup. It is always sunny. Selling Sunset is like a snow globe where piles of money, champagne and glitter fall. It is a world I like to look at when I want to escape this one.
(Also you know it’s either a good show or it’s quarantine and everyone has watched everything else when it even gets a New Yorker write up LOL)
3. listening to Beulah really loudly with the windows rolled down 🌞
💡when you just want to feel like your life is a movie ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I went home to Portland for a few weeks last month. It was comically green, so easy to social distance and full of a lot of friends down to sit in a park and talk.
I went on a hike or to a body of water most days. The other days, I would finish work at 2pm, walk barefoot into the backyard, eat snap peas off the vine and then simply sit, drink a glass of water and look at everything.
I also got to drive. I’m not going to bore everyone with the “girl hates driving, moves to NYC, then loves driving story,” but that is what happened! Did you know that in Portland, it takes no more than 17 minutes to drive across the entire metro area, which is approximately the same amount of time a round-trip walk to the laundromat here takes?
If you find yourself alone in a car or a particularly optimistic walk, please do yourself a favor and play “Emma Blowgun’s Last Stand,” by Beulah really, really loud. (yes it’s long, but that’s the point!) It’s okay sometimes to just really let yourself feel like you are in a movie. This will help.
4. @dreyfus.art 🎨
💡 when your instagram feed needs some better vibes
One of the only joys of scrolling through Instagram right now is following art accounts.
I’ve recently found my Saved folder stacked with posts from Ashley Dreyfus, or @dreyfusart, a Boise illustrator who makes art that reminds me of '80s “let’s make kids feel seen” classroom art, '60s psychedelic band posters and 2020 stick-and-poke tattoos.
You can see her work here and buy her prints here. She also has a really cool option where you can buy a 8x10 print of anything on her Instagram grid for $20!
5. this poem by mary ruefle 🧼
💡 when you don’t think you’re into poetry
The Note
The little note
You left by the green soap
After the room was empty
I took it
Go to Greenland
Go straight to the boat
Do not even stop to get coffee
When you see the icebergs
Say hi
Melting they told me
Everything is going to be fine
From DUNCE
You can buy it from Seatttle’s Wave Books or Bookshop.
Thank you for reading! Tell your friends and tell me what you think/want to see more of/the last pizza you ate.